Tag Archives: direct communication

Autism

Faces Lie

Leave a comment

Faces Lie: Why I Don’t Look at Faces

From a young age, neurodivergent individuals, particularly those on the autism spectrum, often develop a unique perspective on social interactions and communication. One behavior that frequently draws attention and misunderstanding is the tendency to avoid looking at faces. This behavior is commonly misinterpreted as a lack of interest or an inability to engage socially. However, the reality is far more complex and deeply rooted in the nuanced ways we process and respond to visual and emotional information. This article delves into the reasons behind this behavior, challenges common misconceptions, and highlights the importance of direct and honest communication.

The Disconnect Between Words and Faces

One of the primary reasons neurodivergent individuals avoid looking at faces is the frequent inconsistency between what people say and what their facial expressions convey. For example, someone might insist that “nothing is wrong” while their face shows clear signs of distress. These mixed signals create confusion and frustration. For many autistic individuals, this disconnect becomes apparent early in life, leading them to distrust facial expressions that do not match spoken words.

The Importance of Internal Understanding

Many neurodivergent individuals, including myself, have a highly visual internal world. Our understanding and interpretation of the external world heavily rely on visual consistency. When examining our surroundings, we need to ensure that they match our internal visual representation. This process extends to understanding people and their emotions. If faces do not align with the spoken word, they lose their credibility and relevance. Thus, focusing on faces becomes less interesting and more of a distraction from seeking the underlying truth.

The Inefficiency of Lies

When people lie about their feelings, it wastes our effort in trying to decipher their true emotions through facial expressions. This is particularly frustrating when neurodivergent individuals are often punished or reprimanded for noticing and pointing out these discrepancies. As a result, many of us choose to divert our attention away from faces, seeking more reliable and consistent sources of information. This decision is not about a lack of empathy or social disinterest but rather a logical response to a perceived inefficiency in social communication.

Why Faces Become Uninteresting

The lack of transparency in facial expressions leads to disinterest in looking at faces. The inability to break down and understand the truth behind these expressions makes them less engaging. We prefer honesty and directness in communication, and when someone’s face says one thing while their words say another, it is seen as dishonest and not worth the effort to decipher. This preference for straightforward communication aligns with our need for clarity and consistency.

Personal Experience of Misinterpretation

This is my personal experience, and it is compounded by the fact that my own expressions are often dissected and my emotions inferred by non-autistics. When I attempt to interpret their expressions and emotions, I am frequently told that I am wrong or misled. This double standard is perplexing and frustrating. If my interpretations are deemed incorrect, then the same scrutiny should apply to the interpretations of my expressions by others. The inconsistency in how our expressions are evaluated makes little sense and adds to the difficulty of engaging with facial expressions.

Misinterpretations of Autistic Behavior

Recent studies, such as the one on abnormal visual perception in autism, highlight significant differences in how autistic individuals process visual information. These differences are often misinterpreted as social deficits. For instance, what might appear as aimless visual exploration is, in reality, a methodical process of examining the external world to ensure it matches the internal visual picture. The tendency to avoid looking at faces is not due to a lack of social interest but a logical response to the frequent dishonesty observed in facial expressions.

Social Implications

This disinterest in faces can lead to misunderstandings in social interactions, especially in a world where neurotypical people expect facial expressions to be a fundamental part of communication. Neurodivergent individuals, however, prioritize direct communication and consistency between words and actions. Understanding these different priorities can help foster more inclusive and effective communication practices.

Conclusion

Not looking at faces is a rational response to the inconsistencies and dishonesty often observed in facial expressions. For neurodivergent individuals, this behavior is rooted in a preference for direct and honest communication that aligns words with true feelings. It is crucial to challenge common misconceptions about autistic behavior and recognize the importance of providing clear, consistent communication. By doing so, we can create more inclusive social norms that respect the communication preferences of neurodivergent individuals and enhance mutual understanding and respect.

Autism

Elopement

Leave a comment

Understanding Elopement in Autism

Elopement in autism is a behavior that occurs when an autistic individual does not feel safe. This lack of safety often stems from experiencing too many unknowns and ambiguous situations, which can be particularly distressing for autistic people. The behavior is not merely about curiosity; it is an urgent attempt to escape from perceived threats and seek safety.

Causes and Triggers

  1. Ambiguous and Literal Communication:
    • Non-autistic individuals often use implied messages, exaggerations, or ambiguous threats. For instance, if a parent says, “I will give your cat away if you don’t clean your room,” an autistic person might take this threat literally and fear it will actually happen. Even benign threats can be misunderstood.
    • Autistic individuals tend to interpret statements literally. Ambiguous threats can lead to a cascade of racing thoughts as their brains, with more unpruned synapses, consider every possible outcome, unlike non-autistics who might consider only one or two possibilities.
  2. Overthinking and Synapse Pruning:
    • The autistic brain typically has a higher number of synaptic connections due to reduced synaptic pruning. This biological difference can result in overthinking, as the brain processes a vast array of possible scenarios simultaneously.
    • When faced with an ambiguous situation, the autistic mind might generate numerous potential outcomes, contributing to a sense of overwhelming uncertainty and fear.
  3. Overwhelming Fear:
    • The intense fear triggered by feeling unsafe can be so overwhelming that it becomes unbearable. This fear prompts the urgent need to escape to a place perceived as safe.

Impact on Adults and Children

  • Children: Young autistic children are particularly vulnerable to elopement as they might lack the skills to communicate their fears and the impulse control to resist the urge to flee.
  • Adults: Adults, including myself at age 48, experience elopement. It is an extremely scary experience because, once triggered by feeling unsafe, the compulsion to escape becomes overwhelming. The fear is so intense that it is nearly impossible to stop the racing thoughts of the brain trying to find answers to the unknown. ** I will add that it is my opinion that elopement is a possible cause for the high suicide rate in autistics. The intense need to fix the spiraling rush of fear with so many possibilities is almost too much to bare. It feels like every connection in my brain is lit up and I am exhausted afterwards.

Differentiating Elopement from Wandering

  • Elopement: Driven by the need to escape from a perceived threat or unsafe situation. It is an urgent reaction to overwhelming fear and the brain’s attempt to cope with too many unknowns.
  • Wandering: Typically occurs out of curiosity or the desire to explore surroundings. This behavior is separate from the fear-driven response of elopement.

Strategies for Managing and Preventing Elopement

  1. Clear Communication:
    • Ensure communication is direct and unambiguous. Avoid using threats or statements that could be interpreted literally in a harmful way.
    • Do not assume the autistic person understands implied or ambiguous messages. Always communicate clearly and check for understanding.
  2. Safe Environments:
    • Create environments where autistic individuals feel secure. Use locks, alarms, and other safety measures to prevent unsupervised exits.
  3. Support Networks:
    • Establish strong support networks including caregivers, family members, and professionals who understand the triggers and can help manage them.
  4. Emergency Plans:
    • Develop and practice emergency plans for situations where elopement might occur. Ensure everyone involved knows their role and how to respond quickly.

The Role of Theory of Mind and Reactions

  • Lack of Theory of Mind:
    • Autistic individuals often lack theory of mind, meaning they may not easily understand the perspectives or intentions of others. This makes clear and direct communication even more essential.
  • Negative Reactions:
    • If a non-autistic person reacts negatively to an eloping individual, it can exacerbate the situation. Fear and anxiety can increase, making the person feel even more unsafe and desperate to escape.

Conclusion

Elopement in autism is a complex behavior driven by an intense need to escape from situations where the individual feels unsafe due to too many unknowns. This behavior can affect both children and adults and is rooted in the fear and overwhelming thoughts caused by ambiguous communication and perceived threats. By understanding these triggers and implementing clear communication, secure environments, and supportive strategies, we can better manage and prevent elopement, ensuring the safety and well-being of autistic individuals. It is crucial to remember that during elopement, the autistic person may not trust anyone due to the engaged fear-flight mechanism, and clear, plain communication is essential to help them feel safe.