The Masking Rule: A Call for Authenticity in Society

The Unspoken Rule of Masking

In our society, masking has become an unspoken rule that everyone follows to some extent. This behavior, deeply ingrained in our social fabric, is the result of norms established by non-autistic individuals. For autistics, however, this rule feels foreign and uncomfortable. Unlike non-autistics, autistics don’t innately feel the need to hide their true interior because social constructs do not determine their behavior. Instead, they are guided by their personal will, doing as they please and feeling uneasy when forced to pretend and play along with societal expectations.

The Discomfort of Masking for Autistics

Masking, to many autistics, feels like lying. It goes against their nature, as they value honesty and transparency. For example, an autistic person might struggle with the expectation to smile and engage in small talk at a social gathering, finding it disingenuous and exhausting. This tendency to mask is rooted in a societal lack of accountability for personal actions. At the grocery store, at work, and in various social situations, we mask to be liked and included. This inclusion often hinges on conforming to others’ expectations of how we should act and behave, creating a cycle where personal preferences dictate acceptance.

The Societal Debate on Masking

Currently, society is engaged in a debate about the levels and rules of masking. Who should mask? When and where is it appropriate? Why do we do it? These questions arise because there is no universal agreement on the rules of masking. Each individual has their own preferences and expectations, leading to a lack of understanding and acceptance. For instance, at work, some might expect constant politeness and enthusiasm, while others might be more accepting of genuine expressions of frustration or fatigue.

Changing the Rules

But what if we changed the rules? What if we collectively decided that it’s okay to make mistakes, to say the wrong thing, or to have a bad day? What if we accepted that it’s okay to get a bad grade or be late to work? By lowering our expectations of each other and raising our acceptance, we can create a more inclusive society. Imagine a student who fails a test but is supported and encouraged to learn from the experience rather than being shamed. Or a colleague who admits they are having a tough day and is met with understanding rather than criticism.

Encouraging Authenticity

When we peel away the layers of masks accumulated over years, we reveal our truest selves. It’s okay to have many layers—everyone does. Perhaps it’s time for a new rule: unmask and be your true self. Imagine a team-building activity between autistics and non-autistics, where we encourage each other to drop the masks and embrace our genuine selves. By fostering an environment of understanding and acceptance, we can build a society that values authenticity over conformity.

A New Societal Norm

Together, let’s create a world where everyone feels comfortable being who they truly are, without the pressure to mask. Let’s make it okay to show our true interior, to make mistakes, and to be imperfect. Because when we do, we find that the truest version of ourselves is not only acceptable but truly remarkable. By embracing this new norm, we can move towards a society that values each person’s unique qualities and contributions, making it a better place for everyone.