Life is an echo. What you send out comes back. What you sow you reap. What you give you get. What you see in others exists in you. Regardless of who you are or what you do, if you are looking for the best way to reap the most reward in all areas of life, you should look for the good in every person and in every situation and adopt the golden rule as a way of life.

Zig Ziglar

Behavior in Autistic Children: The Influence of Parental Behavior

Understanding the behavior of autistic children requires a nuanced approach that considers the significant influence of their home environment. This article explores how parental behavior directly impacts the behavior of autistic children, emphasizing the concept that “you get what you give.” Using Elias Porter’s Relationship Awareness Theory, we delve into the correlation between parental actions and the resulting behavior in autistic children.

The Role of Parental Behavior

Parental behavior sets a powerful example for children, particularly for those on the autism spectrum. Autistic children often mirror the behaviors they observe in their immediate environment. Therefore, if parents exhibit negative behaviors, such as being impolite or displaying aggression, these behaviors can be replicated by the child. Conversely, positive behaviors such as politeness, patience, and kindness are likely to foster similar responses in autistic children.

Relationship Awareness Theory

Elias H. Porter’s Relationship Awareness Theory provides a framework for understanding the motivations behind behaviors in interpersonal relationships. According to Porter, behavior traits arise from purposive strivings for gratification, mediated by beliefs or concepts about how to obtain those gratifications. In the context of parenting autistic children, this theory highlights the importance of parents modeling positive behavior to achieve mutually beneficial interactions.

Premise 1: Behavior Traits and Gratification Porter’s theory posits that behavior traits are consistent patterns aimed at achieving gratification in interpersonal relationships. For autistic children, the need for consistent and predictable interactions is crucial. When parents model respectful and caring behavior, they create an environment that supports the child’s emotional and social development.

Premise 2: Conditions Affecting Behavior Porter identifies two conditions that affect behavior patterns: when individuals are free to pursue their gratifications and when they face conflict and opposition. Autistic children are particularly sensitive to their environments. Positive reinforcement and a supportive home atmosphere allow them to pursue gratifications and develop healthy behavior traits. Conversely, a stressful or negative home environment can lead to conflict and behavioral issues.

Premise 3: Strengths and Weaknesses According to Porter, personal weaknesses are often the overextension of personal strengths. For example, a parent’s protective nature can become overprotective, leading to dependency in the child. Recognizing and balancing these traits is essential in fostering a healthy developmental environment for autistic children.

Premise 4: Experience-Proximate Concepts The theory suggests that the more closely the concepts in a personality align with how individuals experience themselves, the more effective they are for self-discovery and understanding behavior. This premise underscores the importance of parents understanding their own behaviors and motivations to better guide and support their autistic children.

How you treat others is how you see yourself, and how you expect to be treated- So if you like conflict you will cause conflict, by complaining, micro managing, etc.

So if you want kindness, be kind. Being a dick and expecting kindness in return is a zero sum game. Therefore, one should not be surprised by silence or direct refusal to interact by the Autistic Individual.

I assure you we can live in silence for a lot longer than you can. I’m pretty sure we invented ghosting.

Motivations for Social Engagement and the Autistic Individual

Autistic individuals often face significant challenges in social engagement. Their motivation to interact socially can be heavily influenced by how others communicate and behave towards them. If social interactions are made difficult by interruptions, ambiguous questions, or negative feedback, autistic individuals are likely to withdraw.

• Clear Communication: When interacting with autistic individuals, it’s crucial to communicate clearly and avoid ambiguous or implied questions. Clear and direct communication helps reduce misunderstandings and makes social interaction more comfortable.
• Positive Interaction: Constant complaints, lectures, or highlighting mistakes can lead to autistic individuals avoiding social interaction. They may eventually mirror this negative behavior, leading to further withdrawal.
• Reflective Behavior: If an autistic individual avoids spending time with someone, it often reflects the negative experiences they associate with that person. Socializing is inherently challenging for them, and they are less likely to engage if the experience is unpleasant.

Autistic individuals do not socialize if it’s difficult. Projecting feelings or expectations that they do not experience can lead to silence or anger. It is essential to recognize that the difficulty in social engagement is not due to a lack of willingness but rather a response to the complexity and discomfort of the interaction.

Practical Implications for Parents

1. Modeling Positive Behavior: Parents should strive to exhibit behaviors they wish to see in their children. This includes politeness, patience, and empathy.
2. Consistency and Predictability: Providing a stable and predictable environment helps autistic children feel secure and understand expectations.
3. Positive Reinforcement: Encouraging desirable behaviors through positive reinforcement can promote repetition of those behaviors.
4. Self-Awareness: Parents need to be aware of their own behaviors and motivations, as these significantly impact their children’s behavior.
5. Clear Communication: Use clear, direct language and avoid ambiguous questions to make social interactions more comfortable for autistic individuals.
6. Positive Interaction: Focus on positive feedback and avoid constant criticism to foster a supportive social environment.

Conclusion

The behavior of autistic children is intricately linked to their home environment and parental behavior. By modeling positive behaviors and creating a supportive atmosphere, parents can foster desirable behaviors in their children. Elias Porter’s Relationship Awareness Theory offers valuable insights into the motivations behind behaviors, highlighting the importance of understanding and influencing these dynamics positively. Additionally, understanding the challenges of social engagement for autistic individuals emphasizes the need for clear communication and positive interaction to encourage social participation.

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