Autistic individuals are not side show exhibits to monetize.
Achievement by Proxy: Understanding and Addressing a Harmful Behavior
“Achievement by proxy” is a term I invented to describe the act of taking credit for someone else’s accomplishments. This behavior often occurs in relationships where one party, such as a friend, parent, or spouse, claims that the achiever could not have succeeded without their support or influence. Understanding the motivations behind achievement by proxy and its detrimental effects on both the perpetrator and the victim is crucial for fostering healthier relationships and personal growth.
Definition of “By Proxy”
The term “by proxy” refers to the authority to act on behalf of someone else. In the context of achievements, it implies that the credit for accomplishments is claimed by someone who assisted or supported the achiever, often overshadowing the actual effort and success of the individual.
What Achievement by Proxy Says About the Perpetrator
Insecurity
Explanation: Individuals who engage in achievement by proxy often struggle with their own sense of self-worth and competence. By attaching themselves to another person’s success, they attempt to boost their own self-esteem.
Behavior: This may manifest as frequent boasting about their role in others’ achievements or downplaying the efforts of the actual achiever.
Narcissism
Explanation: Narcissistic individuals have an excessive need for admiration and validation. Taking credit for others’ successes provides them with the recognition and praise they crave.
Behavior: They often dominate conversations about achievements, making it about their contributions rather than acknowledging the actual achiever.
Control and Manipulation
Explanation: Some individuals use achievement by proxy as a means to exert control over the achiever, reinforcing a power dynamic where the achiever feels indebted or dependent.
Behavior: This can include reminding the achiever of their supposed contributions in moments of conflict or to manipulate the achiever’s decisions.
Ulterior Motives
Explanation: Helping someone should come from the goodness of helping, not from a desire for control or manipulation. When help is offered with ulterior motives, it becomes about maintaining influence over the person being helped.
Behavior: Such individuals might frequently highlight their assistance to keep the achiever feeling obligated or dependent.
Why Achievement by Proxy Is Unhealthy for Both Parties
Impact on the Achiever
Loss of Self-Worth: The achiever’s sense of accomplishment is undermined, leading to feelings of inadequacy and diminished self-esteem.
Emotional Distress: Persistent achievement by proxy can cause frustration, resentment, and even depression or anxiety in the achiever.
Hindered Growth: When achievements are not fully recognized, the achiever may doubt their capabilities, stifling their personal and professional development.
Impact on the Perpetrator
Reinforcement of Negative Traits: Engaging in achievement by proxy perpetuates insecurity and narcissistic behaviors, preventing the perpetrator from addressing their underlying issues.
Relationship Strain: This behavior often leads to tension and conflict within relationships, as the achiever feels undervalued and manipulated.
Lack of Authentic Connection: By focusing on appropriating others’ successes, the perpetrator misses out on forming genuine, supportive relationships based on mutual respect and recognition.
Addressing Achievement by Proxy
For the Achiever
Assertive Communication: Clearly and calmly communicate the importance of recognizing individual contributions. Use “I” statements to express feelings without blaming.
Seeking Support: Engage with supportive friends, family members, or professional counselors who can validate the achiever’s feelings and experiences.
Documenting Achievements: Keep a detailed record of personal accomplishments to reinforce self-worth and provide evidence of individual efforts.
For the Perpetrator
Self-Reflection: Encourage self-reflection to understand the motivations behind their behavior and acknowledge its impact on others.
Professional Help: Seek therapy or counseling to address underlying insecurities, narcissistic tendencies, or control issues.
Promoting Healthy Recognition: Practice giving genuine recognition and praise to others, focusing on their achievements without seeking personal validation.
Conclusion
Achievement by proxy undermines the true value of individual accomplishments and damages relationships. By understanding the psychological motivations behind this behavior and its detrimental effects, both perpetrators and victims can take steps to foster healthier, more supportive relationships. Recognizing and addressing achievement by proxy is essential for personal growth and maintaining the integrity of individual achievements.
Cognitive Inflexibility in Humans: Understanding Mental Blocks
In a world where new information constantly challenges our beliefs and perceptions, the ability to adapt and integrate this information is crucial. However, many individuals exhibit a phenomenon known as cognitive inflexibility, where they struggle to accept or process new data that contradicts their existing mental framework. This mental block is not limited to any specific group but is prevalent among non-divergents as well. Understanding the mechanisms behind this cognitive rigidity can shed light on why some people are resistant to change and how this impacts their interactions and decision-making processes.
Exploring Cognitive Inflexibility
Cognitive inflexibility refers to the difficulty in adapting one’s thoughts and behaviors in response to new or changing information. This mental rigidity often manifests as a steadfast adherence to previously held beliefs, even in the face of contradictory evidence. Several cognitive biases contribute to this phenomenon:
Confirmation Bias: One of the most well-known cognitive biases, confirmation bias, is the tendency to favor information that confirms one’s preexisting beliefs while disregarding or downplaying contradictory evidence. This bias can lead individuals to interpret new information in a way that reinforces their existing views, creating a feedback loop of self-affirmation.
Cognitive Dissonance: When confronted with information that conflicts with their beliefs, individuals may experience cognitive dissonance, a state of mental discomfort. To alleviate this discomfort, they may reject or rationalize the new information, rather than adjusting their beliefs to accommodate it.
Mental Set: A mental set is a framework for thinking about a problem based on previous experiences. While this can be beneficial in familiar situations, it can hinder the ability to approach new problems with fresh perspectives. This rigidity in thinking patterns makes it challenging to adopt new strategies or solutions.
Schema Rigidity: Schemas are mental structures that help us organize and interpret information. However, when these schemas become too rigid, they can prevent individuals from integrating new information that doesn’t fit within their established framework. This inflexibility can lead to a distorted understanding of new experiences.
The Impact of Cognitive Inflexibility
Cognitive inflexibility has significant implications for both personal growth and social interactions. On a personal level, it can limit one’s ability to learn and adapt, reducing the capacity for critical thinking and problem-solving. In social interactions, this rigidity can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts, as individuals are unable or unwilling to consider alternative perspectives.
Moreover, cognitive inflexibility can contribute to the polarization seen in many societal debates. When individuals are entrenched in their beliefs, they are less likely to engage in open, constructive dialogue, leading to a fragmented and divided society.
Conclusion
Understanding cognitive inflexibility and the mental blocks that contribute to it is essential for fostering personal growth and social harmony. By recognizing these cognitive biases and actively working to overcome them, individuals can enhance their ability to adapt to new information and perspectives. Encouraging open-mindedness and critical thinking can help break down these mental barriers, leading to more informed and harmonious interactions in both personal and societal contexts. Embracing flexibility in thought is not just a cognitive exercise but a step towards a more inclusive and understanding world.
States of Consciousness, a classic by world authority Charles T. Tart, is a basic understanding of how the mind is a dynamic, culturally biased, semi-arbitrary construction and system. A systematic exploration of how and why altered states can come about and their possibilities. As a student of h…
Unlocking the Secrets of Consciousness: How Charles Tart’s “States of Consciousness” Illuminates Autistic Sensory Processing
In Charles Tart’s “States of Consciousness,” the concept of “Input-Processing” is one of the major subsystems of consciousness. This subsystem automates the selection and abstraction of sensory input, allowing us to perceive only what is considered “important” based on personal and cultural standards.
Input-Processing Subsystem: Importance and Function
Overview
The Input-Processing subsystem is crucial because it helps manage the vast amount of sensory information we receive, ensuring that we are not overwhelmed by irrelevant data. This subsystem filters incoming sensory stimuli, highlighting what our brain deems significant while disregarding the rest. This process is highly automated, operating below the level of conscious awareness most of the time.
Importance in Daily Functioning
Efficiency in Perception: By filtering sensory inputs, the Input-Processing subsystem allows us to focus on what is immediately relevant, enhancing our ability to respond effectively to our environment. For example, while walking down a busy street, this subsystem helps us notice traffic signals and pedestrian movements rather than being distracted by every single sound or visual stimulus.
Cultural and Personal Relevance: The criteria for what is considered important are influenced by both personal experiences and cultural norms. This means our perceptions are tailored to what we need to function within our specific cultural context, aiding in social interactions and adherence to societal norms.
Adaptation and Survival: On a more fundamental level, the Input-Processing subsystem is essential for survival. By quickly identifying and prioritizing potential threats or opportunities, this subsystem helps us navigate our environment safely and efficiently.
Parallels to Autistic Perception
In autism, sensory processing can often be atypical, leading to differences in how sensory input is filtered and prioritized:
Hyper- and Hypo-Sensitivity: Many autistic individuals experience either heightened sensitivity (hyper-sensitivity) or reduced sensitivity (hypo-sensitivity) to sensory stimuli. This can mean that the Input-Processing subsystem may either filter out too little, resulting in sensory overload, or too much, leading to missed important cues.
Different Criteria for Relevance: The standards for what is deemed “important” sensory input can differ significantly from neurotypical norms. Autistic individuals might focus intensely on details that others might overlook and find overwhelming stimuli that others can easily ignore.
Impact on Daily Life: These differences in sensory processing can significantly impact daily functioning. For instance, in a noisy environment, an autistic person might struggle with overwhelming auditory input that their Input-Processing subsystem cannot filter out efficiently. This can lead to anxiety, stress, and a need for sensory accommodations to create a more manageable environment.
Teaching and Understanding: A Precursor to ABA
Tart’s exploration in “States of Consciousness” predates the development of Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) and offers insights into sensory processing that can be seen as inadvertently teaching how to experience the world in an “autistic” way. By delving deeply into how sensory input is processed and filtered, Tart’s work can help neurotypical individuals understand and perhaps even adopt certain aspects of autistic sensory experiences as a means of self-discovery and personal growth.
Finding Oneself Through Sensory Awareness
Tart’s systems approach suggests that by understanding and manipulating our sensory input processing, we can achieve altered states of consciousness that lead to self-discovery. This is akin to experiencing the world as an autistic person might, with heightened awareness of sensory details and a different prioritization of stimuli. Such an approach can broaden one’s understanding of consciousness and the human experience, offering a path to deeper self-awareness and personal insight.
Conclusion
Tart’s detailed exploration of how the mind processes and filters sensory input provides valuable insights for understanding autistic sensory experiences. Recognizing the variability in sensory processing and the potential for overload can help appreciate the challenges faced by autistic individuals. This understanding can inform strategies to create supportive environments that minimize sensory distress and enhance well-being. Tart’s work essentially teaches elements of autistic sensory processing as a method for finding oneself, predating ABA and highlighting the importance of sensory awareness in personal development.
Embracing Boundaries: A Guide for Autistic and ADHD Individuals
Boundaries are the limits we set to protect our physical, emotional, and mental well-being. They define what we are comfortable with and how we want others to treat us. For autistic and ADHD individuals, setting and maintaining boundaries is crucial. These boundaries help us manage our energy, reduce anxiety, and create a safe space where we can thrive.
Why Boundaries Matter
Self-Preservation: Boundaries help prevent burnout and sensory overload. By recognizing and respecting our limits, we protect ourselves from overwhelming situations.
Respect: Enforcing boundaries teaches others how to treat us with the respect we deserve. It’s a way of saying, “I value myself and my needs.”
Empowerment: Setting boundaries is an act of self-empowerment. It’s a declaration that we are in control of our lives and our choices.
The Value of Firm Boundaries
Our unique impairments are not something to apologize for. In fact, they come with unique abilities and skills that we might not have discovered yet. It took me 30 years to uncover my gifts and abilities. (sytemizing! I know I keep saying it, but it works- reduce anxiety-reduce being overstimulated-then the brain works! Surprise! I was overstimulated for 30 years straight- brain fog, reduced cognitive ability, poor memory and reduced ability to learn- seriously I was a mess)
Discovering Your Value
No one’s opinion of you determines your value as a person. From the moment you were born, you were destined for greatness. Greatness doesn’t always happen overnight. Some of the greatest inventors and creators did so later in life. First, you have to discover the wonders of yourself—all the good with the bad—and accept it as it is.
Acceptance and Growth
Acceptance doesn’t mean resignation; it means seeing the full picture of who you are and using what you’ve got to achieve what you want. Where there is a will, there is a way. Don’t let anyone take away your light or tell you to be anyone but yourself. You are perfect just as you are.
The Power of Community
When I look at the Google Earth project I created, I see that you are one of many. Together, we stand strong. We are a community, each managing our energy and boundaries in our unique ways.
Practical Tips for Setting Boundaries
Know Your Limits: Understand what you can handle physically, emotionally, and mentally. Don’t push beyond these limits.
Communicate Clearly: Be clear and assertive when expressing your boundaries. Use “I” statements, like “I need some quiet time now.”
Practice Saying No: It’s okay to say no. It’s healthy and necessary to preserve your energy and well-being.
Seek Support: Surround yourself with people who respect your boundaries and encourage you to maintain them.
Reflect and Adjust: Regularly reflect on your boundaries and adjust them as needed. Your needs may change over time, and that’s perfectly okay.
Final Thoughts
Remember, you are the manager of yourself. You are the boss. It’s okay to say no, and it’s very healthy to do so. Embrace your boundaries, stand firm in your worth, and shine your light brightly. You are perfect just as you are.
Embracing Novelty: A Guide to Openness in the Neurodivergent Mind
Openness, a spark of curiosity and creativity, stands as one of the Big Five personality traits. It paints a picture of a person’s readiness to dive into new experiences, soak in art, embrace various cultures, and welcome a world of ideas.
A Peek Into Openness
At its core, Openness to Experience is like being an explorer at heart. Imagine someone who:
Crafts worlds out of words, finding joy in the abstract and the yet-to-be.
Is a lifelong learner, driven by an insatiable curiosity about the world’s countless stories.
Sees art and beauty as soul food, feeling life more vividly through melodies and hues.
Approaches life’s questions with an open mind, ready to consider the road less traveled.
Lives richly, embracing a spectrum of emotions and deep reflections.
Openness in Daily Life
This trait doesn’t just decorate one’s personality; it shapes life paths, relationships, and self-growth.
Career and Creativity: Open individuals often find themselves in fields that feed their creativity and thirst for knowledge, like the arts or sciences.
Adapting to Change: Their love for exploration makes them naturals at adapting, turning them into assets in fast-paced or innovative settings.
Richer Relationships: Openness can deepen bonds through shared discoveries and emotional depth. Though, it’s worth noting, differences in openness levels can sometimes spark misunderstandings.
A Quest for Growth: It’s about a personal evolution, seeking to understand the self and the cosmos more intimately.
The Flip Side
Every coin has two sides. High openness might lead to:
Feeling swamped by endless possibilities.
Occasionally bumping into practical life’s less thrilling demands.
Being misunderstood by those who prefer the familiar over the novel.
The risk of always chasing the new, potentially overlooking the beauty of the now.
Openness Through a Neurodivergent Prism
Neurodivergence – encompassing conditions like ASD, ADHD, and dyslexia – introduces unique textures to the canvas of openness.
Passionate Pursuits: Many neurodivergent folks have deep, focused interests, showcasing remarkable openness within specific domains.
Innovative Thinking: They often bring fresh, creative solutions to the table, thanks to a unique perspective on the world.
A Different Sensory World: Heightened sensory experiences may translate into a profound appreciation for art and nature, akin to openness’s love for beauty.
Embracing Openness, Navigating Challenges
Embracing new experiences might look different for someone neurodivergent, balancing between the thrill of curiosity and the comfort of routine.
Honoring Special Interests: Integrating passionate interests with new explorations can make learning an adventure.
Creating Comfortable Newness: Introducing novelty in safe, structured ways can ease the anxiety of the unknown.
Celebrating Uniqueness: Valuing the distinctive ideas and creations neurodivergent minds bring helps foster a culture of openness and innovation.
Making Openness Accessible
Understanding and supporting openness in neurodivergence lights up paths to personal growth and collective enrichment. It’s about creating spaces where everyone’s explorative spirit can soar, respecting individual needs while celebrating shared human curiosity. After all, every mind holds a universe, and embracing openness invites us to discover them together.
Creativity and intelligence are both fundamental traits, part of Big Five Openness, and powerful determinants of innovation and general performance at complex tasks, respectively.
AUDIO CORRECTED VERSION: In this lecture, I complete my discussion of Big Five trait openness to experience, which is the dimension composed of an amalgam of creativity and intelligence. I also discuss IQ: how it is measured, what it means, how powerfully it predicts long-term life success, as well as the highly skewed Pareto distribution of creative production.
